Wholeness as the worst enemy

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."


So often, wholeness, the very reason we come to the Lord, becomes our greatest enemy. As human beings, I've noticed a trend, where we come to know, to serve and to surrender to Jesus in our pursuit of wholeness. When we first come to know Him our entire lives are broken, empty and fallen apart. And much like in Psalm 34:4, we find that we seek Him and He delivers us from all our fears; we become whole. Which is a good thing if we remain an attitude and a heart of brokeness before Him, understanding that He alone is the one who saves, restores and brings any good thing unto us. But, all too often, what happens is we begin to boast upon our wholeness and in declaring our testimonies, we lose our reverent, wanting heart and begin to stand on our own two feet. I am beginning to understand why God sometimes doesn't answer our prayer and leaves a "thorn on our side" so to speak. Though His desire is that we know fullness and wholeness in Him, our incredibly selfish nature prevents us from doing so, and therefore He witholds of Himself to the purpose of a hungry and seeking heart for man. But what about those who have already stopped being brokenhearted, and refuse to be crushed in Spirit? Well the Lord spoke in the Proverbs that He will oppose the proud, which can be translate to destruction, and swift dealing with a heavy hand. Ironically, this produces brokenheartedbess again and a crushing of our spirits. After all, what can be so devastating as the realization that we are not a fraction as whole as we thought we were. It's all His pursuit of us. To show us His unending goodness, He must first break us. It's the beauty of this inside-outside-upside down kingdom. In the meantime, I will use this verse as a prayer point to those close to my heart who have embraces and gripped their illusion of wholeness, while forsaking and letting go of the One who makes whole.