I must bid adieu!

Hello [broad] fan base! =) I must say goodbye to this blog and encourage you to visit my other one. I've attempted to keep up with two for a while but I find the Holy Spirit leading me to simplify and get rid of one. Sadly, this one's it. I feel as though most of what I enjoy sharing I can share at the other one and it was silly to have to keep up with two. So! Come visit me here and enjoy the ride! P.S. If you're subscribed here but not my other one, be a doll and subscribe there... That way you don't miss a beat.

the arch-nemesis.

Every Christian has two arch-nemesis...

Discouragement and condemnation.

Every other sin can be redeemed and forgotten, but if either of those two are creeping around like a monkey on your back... Well, let's just say that everything that was ever did will not be forgotten.

Nevertheless, Scripture tells us that we are more than conquerors (Rom 8:37). In the Greek it says that I overwhelmingly overcome. Therefore discouragement is really a lie. Yet I eat it up like a yummy piece of tres leches cake. Well, that cake darlin', was made with sour milk.

My Bible also says that there is nothing I can do that can cause Him to love me more, and there's nothing I can do that can make Him love me less. It also tells me that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Rom 8:1). So, once again, condemnation is a lie. It's how the enemy keeps us away from God. But once again I eat it up like a starving child who doesn't see the feast before her.

So, what is going on with me? Why do I buy into this garbage?

Truth is, personal circumstances often overshadow the Word of God within us, and it causes us to worry and become discouraged, anxious and condemnation that we are just not good enough.

But I have become convinced that what is really missing is an aerial view of what the Spirit of God is really saying and doing. We tend to look at our circumstances through carnal eyes instead of having the eyes of Christ; we view life with our mind and our knowledge instead of having the mind of Christ (1Cor 2:16).

If only we would set our eyes on eternity and on things above we would not be tossed to and fro by impossible circumstances (Col 3:2). If only we knew that our God was truly bigger, we would not even bat an eyelash at the task set before us. And if we knew that He took on our nature so that we may take on His, all obstacles would be made flat before us, and we would believe Him to be our Conquering King (Songs 2:8).

I read a quote this week, and I believe it is a key in defeating the arch-nemesis of our souls.

"How incredinle and humbling that Jesus would take our nature upon Himself, and by the Ressurection would give us His!"

So, this is a challenge to put on the mind of Christ, contend for the eyes of Christ and defeat that mean old pair that seeks to steal, kill and destroy.

curveballs

Every so often, you get a piece of information that catches you off guard.

It's kinda one of those "Uhhmmm" moments. You know, the ones where you ask yourself, "Umm, what do I do with this?"

These moments can range from life-threatening revelations to hurtful confessions, from shocking secrets to unbelievable miracles.

These moments are those when emotions overcome you and being stunned is the only thing you can do.

But then in our humanity, those emotions can creep in and settle. They can settle into hurt, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness or they can settle into self-reliance, pride, or overconfidence. None of which give God His rightful throne in the very core of our being.

So then, we come face to face with it, we sit before God and we pose to Him the question... What do I do with this Lord? What is the appropriate response? Naturally, we trust Him. But practically, what does that look like?

I can't say I'm entirely sure. The last thing I'll ever claim is to have it all together. But, what I can say is that the posture of the heart is what will carry you through. The very fact that you brought it before the Lord and asked His opinion, His thoughts, what the heck to do with it... Well, it shows the posture of heart is bowing low in humility, asking, seeking and pleading. That although you're not perfect, you're willing. That although this fallen, mostly broken world throws sickness, disease, rejection, unfaithfulness, the idea of a miracle and promotion you're not ready for at you, you desire to please the King.

And that this earthen vessel we live in is seriously broken and uncooperative to the willingness of our spirits.

Understanding this, we understand that He doesn't despise our broken faith, the quarter of a mustard seed that we have to offer. But we know that He will take that quarter of a mustard seed and cause "all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his good purpose." (Romans 8:28)

He desires a broken and contrite heart. He delights in our weakness because it is then He can trumpet His great love and His great power.

Well then Lord, trumpet away... Broken and contrite, I am...

what I learned from wasps

In the last month there have been four wasps that have somehow gotten into my home. I have no clue where they came from!

My windows are often open but they're screened, so the possibility of them getting in through there is a little impossible.

Where are the pesky wasps coming from?

The first time it made its ugly appearance was during prayer time. I prayed and it "disappeared." It made its second appearing when Caleb was there (phew!) and he locked it between the screen and the window, leaving it to starve to death. Muahaha. The second appeared from our air vent, and in the process of killing it our kitchen light was killed right along side it. The third was with the starved one and the last one showed up today as I was folding laundry and praying.

Hmm. Wasps in dream dictionary mean demonic attacks.

And then, in a moment of stillness, as I'm reading The Excellent Wife (more on this amazing book to come!), I see the pesky wasp, again. So skillfully I too locked it between the screen and the window so that it may starve to death. Go ahead, call an animal cruelty hotline.

But then, I realized Jesus was telling me something...

We are living in a day and an hour where temptations and attacks are being released at an unprecedented rate. In the words of the amazing Laura Hackett, "The battle is raging, the devil is raging."

Ladies and gentlemen, this just in. We are officially in a war. And if we are to be good soldiers, we are to self-examine and ensure we are well prepared.

Many are like my home... The windows to our heart are open, but we justify it and are completely convinced that it is impossible to have such an ugly attack or soul tie or addiction because we have screens or filters within our heart. We are mature enough to handle having our windows open to whatever dust, wasps or robbers there are out there, because the screen is up and it is invincible.

Yeah?

"Watch your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the well springs of life." -Prov 4:23

It's time to close the windows of our heart and rely on The Ultimate Guardian of our heart instead of our man-made screens.

Oh, by the way... There's a crack in my screen.

bearing fruit and some serious prayer requests

I didn't get much of a chance to spend a lot of time with the Lord during my morning quiet and study time this morning (kids' nap time, here I come!), but the little chance that I got, I wrote down this bizarre (!!) dream I had last night, and I read from Luke 13. It's been a slow treck through Luke, as I'm also studying Isaiah and Song of Solomon, but it's been such a fulfilling one. This morning, Christ's story and explanation of the fig tree has captivated me.


"And He began telling this parable; 'A man had a fig tree which had been planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and did not find any. And he said to the vineyard-keeper, 'Behold, for three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree without finding any. Cut it down! Why does it even use up the ground?' And he answered and said to him, 'Let it alone, sir, for this year too, until I dig around it and put in fertilizer; and if it bears fruit next year, fine; but if not, cut it down.' " -Luke 13:6-7

This Scripture evidently speaks to His followers that bearing the fruit of the Spirit is not an option. We must be characterized by the same things that charazterized Christ, the very nature of who He is. That fruit described in Galatians 5:22-23.

My question then is (and I say this in all humility and with all due respect), why do Western Christians exhibit so little fruit? The fig tree didn't bear fruit the size of coconuts or pineapples. Figs are tiny, berry-like fruit! In His Holiness, He knows our weakness and our frailty. He is the one who created our frame, therefore He knows us so intimately. Yet, this is no excuse to not bear fruit. When naming the characteristics of the fruit of the Spirit, Paul mentions that is the fruit. It is one, single fruit that embodies love, joy, peace, patience [longsuffering], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.

As I continue on this journey of purging and cleansing, I strive to exhibit fruit. I am contending with the Holy Spirit for a character like Christ. I believe this is what will set the stage for the miraculous and the unprecendented move and harvest of the Holy Spirit in these end times.

How much fruit do you bear?

Also, in these times, there is so much need for prayer, so I am asking that you will keep several families in prayer during this time.

Cabrera Family

Jenny is 21 weeks pregnant with sweet baby Avery in her womb. The doctors have diagnosed Avery with a "fatal condition" where his brain is filled with fluid, little brain tissue is developed, including the part that connects to his respiratory system. His heart is also on the wrong side of his body and little man has spots on his liver. Doctors want to "induce labor" in 12 days so that she can have the baby, though they are essentially telling her he has no chance of survival. They've also told her they've never seen the organs develop after 20 weeks. Please pray for the hand of God to touch Avery and for a miracle to take place that will confound the wise. Also pray for Mommy && Daddy, for peace and comfort during this trying time.

Steffens Family

Last year, Ken Steffens, my high school photography teacher and my mom's boss' husband, was diagnosed with lung cancer. After a round with chemo and a lot of prayer, Mr. Steffens beat the odds and he beat cancer... Now, the cells are back and there's some fluid in his lungs again. Pray for a good report that tells us he does not have cancer. Most importantly, pray he comes to the saving knowledge of Christ Jesus.

Napoleoni Family

Two night ago, my great-uncle was driving home when a 14 year old boy in a bike cut across him. My uncle, being close to his 80's, didn't have the reflexes to stop as suddenly as was needed and accidentally hit the boy. As of yesterday, the boy is in ciritical condition in the hospital. Please pray for this young boy, his family and my uncle. He is absolutely distraught.

Thank you for partnering with me in prayer. How can I pray for you?

circumstances and sin

"Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom." - Ps 51:6

I have continued on this journey through the inmost chambers of my heart and I must say, things are not looking pretty. After last Tuesday's message, I have been stirred and the Lord, through a series of dreams and circumstances, He has shown me how truly wicked my heart's ways are, but that in that darkness, He still desires me and He will complete the work He has started in me.

"Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is too high, I cannot attain it."

-Ps 139:6

Often times, we justify our sin by our pain and our hurt. We convince ourselves that He knows our hearts and knows what has happened to us, therefore, He understands why we're unforgiving and bitter, why we drown ourselves in drugs and alcohol or romance and sex. He knows why... He understands... He sees our heart.

This is a fact. God does see our heart. Actually, God sees the whole picture. He has "searched us and known us" (Ps. 139:1). "He has understood our thoughts from afar." (Ps. 139:2). In fact, He is "intimately acquainted with all our ways." (Ps. 139:3)

• (def) intimate: very private; closely personal. detailed; deep. inmost, deep within. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of the inmost or essential nature; intristic.

Yeah, I'd say He knows our heart pretty well. But the time has come for us to stop blaming our circumstances for our sin. In His mercy, though He knows our heart, our circumstances, our pain in a very private, closely personal, detailed and deep way, He still shows us our sin that we may be like Him and reflect His glory. So that, "we all with unveiled faces, beholding in a mirror the glory of the Lord, [can be] transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit." (2 Corinthians 3:18)

We must have unveiled faces and hearts before the Lord and ourselves to be able to behold His glory, and be transformed into His likeness. He desires that we may be cleansed from the inside out, instead of cleaning just the outside of our earthen vessels, like the Pharisees in Luke 11:39-42. The Pharisees had the outward manipulation and show of "pure and undefiled religion" yet had hardened hearts who did not recognize the time of their visitation.

This is my time of visitation. This is when the Lord is teaching me the beginning of wisdom. It is in this painful time, when I'm seeing the depths of darkness within me that I know He is God and He is good. I pray that I may be the good soil, which "hears the Word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with persevarance." (Luke 8:15)

A true story in the exposing of my heart...

Tuesday noon-ish, Mike Bickle, the director of the International House of Prayer (IHOP-KC) made an announcement in the prayer room that there was to be an "emergency meeting" of sorts that same afternoon at 4p/Central Time.


I get calls and rumors start flying. Even though everyone had a positive notion, I was filled with "fear and trembling..." I knew whatever was to happen would not be good for me (as in, my flesh, every vain ambition and selfish conceit). When I began texting a friend of mine, who was in OHOP's Prayer Room, she confirmed that those who were there were sensing and feeling the fear of the Lord in a deep way.


Yikes! I knew I was in for it. :l


Sure enough, a pastor from Uganda, Africa came... and shared an encounter with the Lord that He had. Although he had the outward form of Christianity (having seen signs, wonders, miracles and preaching the gospel), according with what this man shared, his ways were not the ways of the Lord. He carried immorality and other sins in his heart, and the Lord rebuked him. The LORD, also, in His graciousness showed this man how he was not ready for the coming storm nor the great and terrifying Day of the Lord.


Yikes... again! I'm crying and panicking (in a godly way) at this point. Sighhh...


And then... after the Word, I became angry and offended. I began to scream and God and ask "Why?" Why God, did You choose me to live in such a time as this? We both know I'm weak and I'm a coward. Why couldn't I have been born in an era where things weren't going to hell in a handbasket (as though such a time has existed? HA!)? Why Lord, why? I'll never get to play dress-up with my daughter or put bows in her hair (because currently, she's closer to bald than to bows)... Why Lord, why, why why? And then, the thought came, exposing the very whisper of my heart and betraying my fears and darkness... "Why do I have to live in a time where You require it all, all of the time and to refuse so is death?"


Yikes... times infinity... Yikes!


I repented and bowed my head low... So very low... Lower than low... Beyond low...


I love God, but still cling to the safety of worldliness. My heart desires Him but it desires me too...


Can such a conflict exist?


That night I prayed that the Lord would speak to me in a dream...


Personally, I was hoping for a sea of lilies and a lion named Aslan to come and tell me I am His Beloved.


Instead, for the last two nights, I've gotten chaotic dreams where the inner-most depths and sin of my heart are exposed. Yep, in its fullness. At first, I wasn't sure of the significance of the dream... But after last night, the common thread seems to be my darkness...


So, what do I do now?


I break the ties with such worldliness and evil. And I repent.


I set my gaze and my heart on the Holy One of Israel who is Perfect, Holy, Mighty and Faithful.


And, I set my feet to diligently walk in the fruit of repentance.


I purposely change my mind with the Word of God about my darkness, that my heart may be prepared in the coming storm.


Take a moment to self-examine. Can you truly say you are ready?

a journal entry and a dream

[taken excerpt from my journal]

So, I had a dream last night in which chaos began to break forth, and I started to panic! But, I hear the LORD say to me, "You are ready. My Church is ready. Just trust in ME." I was in a state of shock because the last thing I considered myself at that moment was ready. I kept arguing and saying to Him, "No, we're not ready." But the last words kept echoing in my spirit... "Just trust in ME."

I feel this dream goes along with the Scripture that says, "I am confident that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil 1:6). I think I've been so freaked out over the coming trials and times that I haven't allowed the Holy Spirit to complete the work He has started in me. If He has chosen me for such a time as this and I am choosing Him and are being led by the Spirit, then I have to trust He'll do His part.

He is mighty big. If He speaks and I listen He will never fail. He will come through and He will ensure I am prepared and so is my heart for these coming times.

"God knew what circumstance, what family, what nation and what generation to put you in so that you would love Him most."

-- Misty Edwards

the tide is turning...

I have been praying and contending for a while now for the very thing which is now happening in our family.

The tide is turning and we are preparing for the coming storm.

This weekend, IHOP-KC's Wes Hall came and equipped our Church family during our monthly Awaken the Bride conference. And boy, do I gotta say that the Spirit of God is good, faithful and so sweet! It was like a fresh download and infilling from Heaven for both Caleb and myself and we are now armed & ready with zeal, wisdom and increased understanding on a number of different things. Of course it varies for Caleb and me, but ultimately it brings our family into such a sweet essence of unity, that I am excited to see what's ahead.

The main thing I felt the Lord release for me specifically, was the sweet sweet whisper of His spirit impress upon me this...

"I will set you on fire, and then I will blow upon you."

This doesn't mean He will blow out the fire which He started, but rather that He will blow on it and it will be contagious as others catch on fire...

As I have sought the Lord over the last few weeks I have truly felt that the fulfillment of our calling is soon. I believe with my whole heart our family will be released in a new way unto a prophetic destiny which He has prepared for us. This is the season of preparation. And in preparing, God is stripping away everything that hinders love, everything that attaches itself to us, that we may run, dodge, jump and move when we need and how we need to; in the fullness of the Spirit of Christ.

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,

because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted;

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim liberty to the captives,

and freedom to prisoners."

-Is 61:1

I have seen an increase in dreams, revelations of such dreams and visions, as well as a time of intense preparation for Caleb (the details of which I won't fully mention to honor his place with the Lord in the secret place).

He is coming. And He's preparing us.

This is the season of preparation. As I step into the full-time roll of intercessory missionary I am convinced He is releasing revelation upon revelation of the importance of this mandate.

Oh the joys of knowing Jesus!

He is so faithful, and He will complete He has started in us. :)

lessons learned from fiction novels

I am a Francine Rivers fanatic.


I have read just about every book she's ever written. And I.love.them.


Fiction is a topic of minor controversy amongst friends and myself. In the light of studying Scripture and serving in our God-given ministries (whether at the House of Prayer, in the marketplace, or at home) one can only spend their remainding energies on very little and fiction just doesn't feed the spirit like non-fiction does.


Well, Francine Rivers' fiction absolutely feeds my spirit. And here's why...


Francine Rivers is a Spirit-filled believer who asks the Holy Spirit what He desires to say before she sits down to write a novel. As you read the pages of her books, it is filled with Scripture references and godly characters. At the end of the day, she gets real.


I just finished re-reading her "Mark of the Lion" series and I have to admit, it stirred me.


The trilogy follows a wealthy Roman family, a small Jewess who believes Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God, and a captured German warrior. It is set around 40 years after the ressurection of Christ, and persecution is at every corner. As I sat and read of this Christian young lady (because, she was after all but a teen at the start of the book) I saw myself imprinted all over Hadassah.


She was a young girl who loved the Lord, but struggled with fear.


Fear has always been my Goliath. Hadassah struggled with fear. All the while she witnesses incognito, fear consumes her for her very life. And then I got to thinking...


Persecution like that could very well be on the way for American Christians. How will I react in the dawn of that day? Will fear consume and paralyze me? Or will I rise up boldly and forget the word fear is even in our vocabulary?


Sitting and pondering about this, I realize that fear has gripped the American Church in a very subtle and yet so obvious way. We fear failure, we fear poverty, we fear heartache and pain. "Perfect love casts out all fear." Being yoked with perfect love causes fear to run from within our grasp.


I desire to be yoked ever closer to this Perfect Love.


And I believe the American Church needs a good reminding of who Love is. The fullness of who He is...

So, then from a fiction novel that some would cast off as wasted time and wasted paper, I have come face to face with my Goliath. The beauty is, I turn and see my David has already loaded his sling and has won the battle.

Book Review: "Seven Commitments of a Forerunner"

Seven Commitments of a Forerunner

A sacred charge to press into God
by: Mike Bickle

I just finished reading Mike Bickle's Seven Commitments of a Forerunner. I received the book as a gift during IHOP's "One Thing-Orlando." It was recommended to me by a number of individuals from our Church, and seeing as I am stepping into a new season where I have committed to being a full time intercessor, I wanted to find out more about this sacred charge that I may commit to being a forerunner in a manner which pleases Him. Essentially, I wanted to reach the next level in my commitment to Him. I can say I found it in the sacred charge.

Mike presents it as a "sacred charge" because that which we call sacred, we tend to hold in the highest esteem. This charge to press in, to become a forerunner is to be a high priority in our lives. Rain or shine, snow or sleet, these commitments are of the utmost importance. The seven commitments go as follows;

- Pray Daily
- Fast Weekly
- Do Justly (one of my favorite commitments!)
- Give Extravagantly
- Live Holy
- Lead Diligently
- Speak Boldly

They are a call to return to the foundations of Christian faith (in a real and complete manner) that we may discover the deep things of Christ. I highly recommend this book and the commitment to become a forerunner.

(4 out of 5 stars!) ****

What if a prayer for mercy results in great calamity?

As I was praying this morning, my prayers began to focus upon our nation. I began to cry out for mercy for our nation. I prayed that this nation will know and understand the true meaning of mercy and that through that revelation it will return to its foundational roots. Christ, love and justice.


And then, the Word of the Lord came to me so softly it was barely whisper. In my prayers, I almost missed it.

"What if My mercy came in the form of great physical calamity for this nation?"

Whoa!

Many in the Body of Christ have been sensing the very same thing. America hangs in a balance. And while we cry out for mercy, He's answering our prayers.

The concept of mercy has been a fuzzy one and one that has been objective, at best. We consider mercy the act of being spared from what we consider pain (tends to be more physical and circumstancial rather than spiritual) instead of understanding things from an eternal view.

He's more concerned with our eternity than our now. As I cry out for mercy, I am crying out to be saved and molded into His image. In His Sovereignty, if He should decide calamity will save my soul and return me to Him well then, He is acting in mercy.

As I continue on my journey as an intercessor and I pray for world events such as what's going on Egypt and in this nation, I learn that His ways are always higher and never match up to what I think they should be. Oh, but what a glorious thing! To serve and to love a merciful God...

"gracious, slow to anger and rich in love!"

the sorrows of clubbing

Last night I had a "moment" and decided to get my nose re-pierced. I'd had it done in 2006 and loved it, but having a semi "professional" job required me to take it out and never put it back in. Well, I'm now an intercessor, a wife and a mommy- so nose ring, here I come! Chancia came with me and we had a pretty hysterical time. Afterwards, we decided to hang out and head over to City Walk to walk around and talk.

As soon as we arrived to City Walk the atmosphere changed, and we'd forgotten we were headed there on a Friday night when the clubs are "poppin'" and "night-life" rules. In the parking lot, we saw young ladies & guys dressed up, eager to attend the club of their choice and party the night away. Both Chance and I were bereft. Neither one of us were ever the "club going folk" however we suddenly remembered the hopelessness we felt when we didn't know Christ. (Maybe that was just me, I think Chance was born saved, haha). Either way, the entire time there we spent discussing this lifestyle. Not in a judgemental way--there was no judgement nor condemnation--only a sadness that left us feeling like there was more.

Of course there's more. We know there's more. We know Him, we've tasted Him and seen Him. But, City Walk hadn't. And for most, this particular experience was the highlight of their week. Loud music, intoxicating drinks and a building packed with others who felt the exact same way, hoping that this fulfills their time and their hearts... Sigh.

I'm so burdened with souls, yet find myself in a bind. I am so not bold, and for whatever reason fear nags at my heart and tends to win. Argh! Why? Taking it before the Lord now, in prayer, more than ever I believe it is for the Church to arise and speak Christ. It is time to set our hearts to bring to Jesus the reward of His suffering and to offer to the dying world the beauty of this man. And of course, to do so boldly.

I have come before the Lord and have understood that I am afraid of man because I still don't have a full grasping of the name which He calls me; His son, His bride, co-heir and His bondservant. And my name is my destiny. Therefore, I am setting my heart in prayer to come to full understand such names, that I may partner with the heart of Jesus and be able to speak Christ and so boldly. I would encourage you to do the same. Time is urgent and the lost are only lost because we haven't shown to them, the Way.

Fruit of the Spirit

"And the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience[longsuffering], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control; against these, there is no law."

- Gal 5:22-23

So, my friend and I did a study of this Scripture last week, and as we searched Scriptures I really began to ask the Lord to fulfill this Scripture in my heart. I wanted to walk in this fruit to its fullness. Not just occassionally and inconsistently, but in a vibrant way that would characterize me. More than sign and wonders, I wanted His fruit. It was, and is, something that truly was stirred in my heart.

I suddenly became aware of every opportunity to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. Instead of poison, I used kind words when insulted (to one degree or another), instead of five or six cookies I ate just one and I ensured that I was faithful in little things, despite my emotions. I was doing "great." And then came, well, let's call him Sammy.

Sammy is a sweet one year old little boy. He loves car, the swing and Mickey Mouse. He would be spending time with us during the days, while Mommy worked at night. Totally doable, right? Wrong! See, Sammy loves loves loves his Mommy (who said this is a bad thing?) and is very sad while she's away. So sad that he cries. A lot. All day. Everyday. I understand this, and therefore made every effort to comfort him. Prayed. Played. Hugged. Loved. Nothing worked! Day and two were feasible. Day three, I lost it. I seriously lost it. I less than behaved in a fruit of the spirit kinda way. And meanwhile I'm whining to the Lord, asking him for a serious dose of mercy, He gently yet firmly reminds me (and rebukes me) that I asked for fruit of the Spirit, and I was choosing to exhibit none. Yikes.

See, when we pray God doesn't just grant it to us, He gives us the opportunity to choose to behave in those things which we have asked for. With the awareness and the knowledge, His Holy Spirit kisses us with grace, the rest is up to us. Wisdom is having that grace to walk it out. I can't ask God to super-naturally give me patience to love on little Sammy. I know what it means to be patient, and I know what it means to love, so I can ask for grace to carry out that definition. See, life is a product of the choices you make with your time and your circumstances. Jesus opened the eyes of my heart to see the opportunity before me. I can choose to act less than godly (after all, Jesus said "You shall know them by their fruit"), or I can choose to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, regardless of how high pitched or long it is. Part of the fruit after all, is longsuffering...

What situation are you in that is developing the fruit of the Spirit in your life?

He's declaring war!

"To whom then will you liken God?
Or what likeness will you compare with Him?"
- Isaiah 40:18

The last few days during my time with the Lord I have gained a sense of His ever-faithful Jealousy. I believe the Lord is highlighting His Jealousy at this time in history. In Isaiah 40, there is a stunning description of Almighty God, the Creator and the mighty One. He is unwilling to share the reward of His suffering with anything. That includes entertainment, money, material possessions, our various relationships, comfort, romance, Muhhamed, Buddha or any other self-proclaimed god in our lives. This is the time to pursue and to seek the Lord. His jealousy will not go unfulfilled, and He will strip us if we do not repent now.

I have embarked on a journey to lay waste everything and to see that "all is loss compared to the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus." (Phil 3:8) The time is now to lay aside and to dwell in radical communion with the Spirit of God. He is Jealous and He will not relent! He will be exalted and He will finish the work He began in us. I exhort you to seek Him, to give yourself wholy unto Him. Fast media for this year and see if the Lord doesn't reward you. Remove yourself from distraction, live simply and see if the Lord doesn't come near is made manifest in your life ever more. He desires you and longs for me in an intense way, and He is declaring war against the worthless, dead idols that have stolen our hearts for way too long.

"But you trusted in your beauty and played the harlot because of your fame, and you poured out your harlotries on every passer-by who might be willing." -Ezekiel 16:15

Nahum declares severe judgement over Nineveh, "all because of the many harlotries of the harlot." (Nah 3:4)

Prayer List

So, I've been on this journey, reading through the book "The Seven Commitments of a Forerunner" by Mike Bickle (a review soon to come) and one of the charges of an intercessor is to Pray Daily. Now, this is not new information, nor am I just establishing such practice, however in his expounding of the charge Mike Bickle suggested putting together a prayer list to facilitate your prayer time. He says, "I have discovered that using a prayer list is not less spiritual, or cumbersome, but that it is a helpful tool that keeps my mind focused as I pray. A prayer list helps us to remain focused on the Lord, so that we may connect with Him in a deeper way."

So not deep prophetic revelation, nevertheless not a practice I emphasized much on, after all we are to be led by the Spirit, correct? I've got to admit my prayer life was not so out of whack that this above suggestion was the answer to a prayer, after all I always covered the important ones every time... but it was a challenge to go deeper in the Lord in a manner of order and organization. I started thinking, and became excited. How many more people can I pray with if I utilize a prayer list that covers every base every time? How much more will I grow as an intercessor if I have a list of things already written down that I can use to engage with a spirit of intercession every time? How much easier will it be and how much more effective will my time with the Lord be? So, I created my very own prayer list and will begin utilizing it stat. :) Just thought I'd put out the challenge for those who do not have a prayer list to create one that works for you.

Mike specifically speaks of three prayer themes and three prayer focuses that we are to be conscious of as we come up with our prayer list. Here's a quick summary, check out the link for the notes below!

Prayer Focuses:
1) Intimacy: Focuses on giving our love and devotion to God. Includes worship, meditation on the Word, including prayer-reading it, and fellowshipping with the Holy Spirit.
2) Petition: Asks for God's blessing on our personal lives && ministry. Breakthroughs in our inner man (heart), circumstances and ministry.
3) Intercession: Asks for God's power or justice for others and for strategic issues in society (abortion, human trafficking, natural disasters, etc)

Prayer Themes:
1) Gifts of the Spirit: God's power & favor released
2) Fruit of the Spirit: God's character formed in us or others
3) Wisdom of the Spirit: God's mind imparted to us.

Check out the notes here!

How would establishing a prayer list help you in your time with the Lord?

Full time in the prayer room

"My sons, do not be negligent now, for the LORD has chosen you to stand before Him, to minister to Him and to be His ministers and burn incense."

-2 Chronicles 29:11

I have desired to go full time in the prayer room for quite some time now. I attend the Orlando House of Prayer which entails full-time intercessory missionaries ministering to the Lord in 24/7 worship and intercession. It is my passion to dwell in the House of the Lord and minister unto His heart. It moves me to move Him and I desire for my children to grow up in a consistent atmosphere of worship and intercession... So, I have been asking the Lord for guidance for a very, very long time. However, something always came up. My desire of course was only fueled by our director, Carlos, always inviting me to come on full time as an intercessor. A few months ago, I made a move out of a particular area of ministry at OHOP to focus solely on the hidden ministry of a wife and a mother. In such time, I felt the Lord nudge me into the prayer room over and over again, promising me that I would one day dwell in the house of the Lord as a full-time intercessor. I spoke about it with my husband, Caleb, and even though he wasn't against it, I could sense he was hesitant. I put a sign before the Lord and told him that when and if it was his will for me to come into the prayer room full time, I needed Him to provide a new desktop or laptop from where I could do my administrative hours without hastle. I waited and waited and nothing happened. With both Caleb being hesitant and my lack of computer, I took those as an evident sign that it was not my time.

Come moving time in January, my Dad shows up my front door with, lo and behold, a desktop! His old desktop to be exact, one that has every program I need to work in any facet of ministry. I knew my time was getting closer! Recently, my husband approached me about getting part-time work. Finances had been rough and he felt that was the safest bet. Though I had zero desire to pursue it, I diligently looked for work. On the night before a job interview (to a position that had already been offered, the interview was just a formality) I prayed for wisdom and guidance from the Lord in the form of a dream. Well, I got it. I won't post the entire dream, however I will tell you the Lord clearly showed me in the dream that if I were to take the position I had interviewed for, my skills, my talents and my passions would always be encaged and tied down to their standards. I was to dwell in the place where wisdom was taught and where He wanted me. I told Caleb the next day, and his eyes got slightly big. Hehe, he totally agreed and gave me his blessing. I discussed it with an amazing friend (who carries the gift of prophecy might I add) and she gave me a super big smile. She then proceeded to pray with me and confirm this very thing with a prophetic word.

"I see you being planted like a tree by the streams of living waters with your roots going deep, deep way deep. "

At this point, after discussing it with Caleb, receiving a dream and a prophetic word, I totally knew it was Jesus. :) My biggest confirmation was that my husband blessed it with zero hesitation. Now, to confront my inadequecies and my fears. I had been a stay at home without much of a schedule. Outside of a daily routine I had few committments and I liked it this way. I burned to be in the house of prayer, but the committment caused me to shy away. While I was listening to one of Mike Bickle's teaching, "Power of a Focused Life" I realized that it was silly and so very selfish of me to not invest my time in the House of Prayer. Commitment or not! So, stepping through that point, I am now so ready. :)

So, what now?

Now, I have created a schedule for my life that keeps me focused (thank you Mike Bickle!) on the things which truly matter, including being a full-time intercessory missionary. I am only waiting because I gave my word to a young woman that I would watch her son during her stay here in Orlando, and I have no desire to back out on my word. My word is good as gold. Depending on how comfortable she feels with me taking her son to and fro OHOP will determine when I turn my sacred trust and I begin on this fantastic journey. I covet your prayers during this time. Thanks!

better late than never... 2010 recap && 2011 goals

So, this post is way overdue, considering it's January 22nd now (ahem) and I still haven't done it. But I want to take some time to re-cap 2010 and welcome in 2011 with a list of goals and pursuits. So, here we go...



2010 Overall Recap:

I spent the bulk of 2010 pregnant. Sigh... Can't say I was a big fan of emotional roller coasters and marital spats. Being pregnant proved stressful not just on me, but on outside relationships as well. Having been pregnant for the first time, I felt like I was in a constant state of chaos and limbo. It. was. miserable. I absolutely loved having life grow within me and receiving continual revelation of the destiny that dwelt within my womb. That part was super cool. And, yet can't say that I loved post-meal nausea, neverending heartburn and tears at the drop of a hat. Nevertheless, I got Aaliya Liberty Arrazolo out of that, and I wouldn't trade my "defender of freedom" for anything in the world.

Summarizing 2010 would basically lead me to describe a year of testing, hardship and insane growth. But it was also a year of restoration in friendships. More than anything, I think the Lord established friendships that weren't existant before with people that, well, let's just say, didn't exactly know me, per se. It has been so exciting to see Christ develop these friendships in my life, and to have new ones that are godly, supportive and carry a similar vision for life.



2010 Highlights:

- Highlight of the Year: Walking into Winnie Palmer Hospital pregnant. Walking out of Winnie Palmer Hospital with a newborn in my arms. By far, the coolest thing ever!



- Hardest decision of the Year: Stepping down from Remnant leadership.



- Scripture for this Year: "For my grace is sufficient for you. My strength is perfected in your weakness." -2Corinthians12:9



- Saddest Moment of the Year: Enduring the hardship of miscarriage with several women I know and deeply care for.



- Funniest Moment of the Year: Her name is Chancia M. Richardson-Cruz! ;)



- Most Impactful Lesson Learned: "Love is longsuffering."



- Hot Date of the Year: Hubbs taking me to Axum Coffee to dream big!



2010 Favorites:

- Movie: "Fireproof" (it was on repeat!)



- Song/Lyric: "It's just a little while till I see You, it's just a little while longer till I know You. It's just a little while longer && we'll be together..."



- Person of the year*: Chance & Rache. Hands down. We laughed, cried (sometimes FROM laughing), endured hardships together, and we spoke truth to one another.



- Church service of the year: When mourning hit OHOP. [date forgotten, sry]



- Vacation: Driving to Georgia five months pregnant for a Girls' Weekend.



So, what's up for 2011? Twenty one days into the year, and it's already a 180 degree turn. :) I have been able to establish myself more so in the role of a wife, a mama and a homemaker. I have made the decision to go full time at the House of Prayer (more on that big decision at a later post) and have been recklessly and relentlessly pursuing the Word, that I may encounter the Living Word. :) So, below are some of my new years' resolutions.



- Commit to singing on a prayer set.



- Wake up daily at 6a.



- Establish family devotion time



- Grow as a homemaker



- Tell my testimony (more, also on this at a later post)



- Read through the entire Bible



- Grow in the prophetic



- Memorize three Scriptures weekly



Ok, there ya have it. 2010 in a nutshell with a hint of what 2011 will look like. :)
Don't forget mamas to check out HistoricHomemaking!







*author's note: "Person of the year" is not intended to be a family member. It is an outside individiual that has been an important member of the author's life. Much like family.