Wednesday, April 13, 2011
I must bid adieu!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
the arch-nemesis.
Discouragement and condemnation.
Every other sin can be redeemed and forgotten, but if either of those two are creeping around like a monkey on your back... Well, let's just say that everything that was ever did will not be forgotten.
Nevertheless, Scripture tells us that we are more than conquerors (Rom 8:37). In the Greek it says that I overwhelmingly overcome. Therefore discouragement is really a lie. Yet I eat it up like a yummy piece of tres leches cake. Well, that cake darlin', was made with sour milk.
My Bible also says that there is nothing I can do that can cause Him to love me more, and there's nothing I can do that can make Him love me less. It also tells me that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Rom 8:1). So, once again, condemnation is a lie. It's how the enemy keeps us away from God. But once again I eat it up like a starving child who doesn't see the feast before her.
So, what is going on with me? Why do I buy into this garbage?
Friday, March 18, 2011
curveballs
Monday, March 14, 2011
what I learned from wasps
Friday, March 11, 2011
bearing fruit and some serious prayer requests
"And He began telling this parable; 'A man had a fig tree which had been planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and did not find any. And he said to the vineyard-keeper, 'Behold, for three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree without finding any. Cut it down! Why does it even use up the ground?' And he answered and said to him, 'Let it alone, sir, for this year too, until I dig around it and put in fertilizer; and if it bears fruit next year, fine; but if not, cut it down.' " -Luke 13:6-7
Also, in these times, there is so much need for prayer, so I am asking that you will keep several families in prayer during this time.
Thank you for partnering with me in prayer. How can I pray for you?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
circumstances and sin
- (def) intimate: very private; closely personal. detailed; deep. inmost, deep within. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of the inmost or essential nature; intristic.
Yeah, I'd say He knows our heart pretty well. But the time has come for us to stop blaming our circumstances for our sin. In His mercy, though He knows our heart, our circumstances, our pain in a very private, closely personal, detailed and deep way, He still shows us our sin that we may be like Him and reflect His glory. So that, "we all with unveiled faces, beholding in a mirror the glory of the Lord, [can be] transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit." (2 Corinthians 3:18)
We must have unveiled faces and hearts before the Lord and ourselves to be able to behold His glory, and be transformed into His likeness. He desires that we may be cleansed from the inside out, instead of cleaning just the outside of our earthen vessels, like the Pharisees in Luke 11:39-42. The Pharisees had the outward manipulation and show of "pure and undefiled religion" yet had hardened hearts who did not recognize the time of their visitation.
This is my time of visitation. This is when the Lord is teaching me the beginning of wisdom. It is in this painful time, when I'm seeing the depths of darkness within me that I know He is God and He is good. I pray that I may be the good soil, which "hears the Word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with persevarance." (Luke 8:15)
Friday, March 4, 2011
A true story in the exposing of my heart...
I get calls and rumors start flying. Even though everyone had a positive notion, I was filled with "fear and trembling..." I knew whatever was to happen would not be good for me (as in, my flesh, every vain ambition and selfish conceit). When I began texting a friend of mine, who was in OHOP's Prayer Room, she confirmed that those who were there were sensing and feeling the fear of the Lord in a deep way.
Yikes! I knew I was in for it. :l
Sure enough, a pastor from Uganda, Africa came... and shared an encounter with the Lord that He had. Although he had the outward form of Christianity (having seen signs, wonders, miracles and preaching the gospel), according with what this man shared, his ways were not the ways of the Lord. He carried immorality and other sins in his heart, and the Lord rebuked him. The LORD, also, in His graciousness showed this man how he was not ready for the coming storm nor the great and terrifying Day of the Lord.
Yikes... again! I'm crying and panicking (in a godly way) at this point. Sighhh...
And then... after the Word, I became angry and offended. I began to scream and God and ask "Why?" Why God, did You choose me to live in such a time as this? We both know I'm weak and I'm a coward. Why couldn't I have been born in an era where things weren't going to hell in a handbasket (as though such a time has existed? HA!)? Why Lord, why? I'll never get to play dress-up with my daughter or put bows in her hair (because currently, she's closer to bald than to bows)... Why Lord, why, why why? And then, the thought came, exposing the very whisper of my heart and betraying my fears and darkness... "Why do I have to live in a time where You require it all, all of the time and to refuse so is death?"
Yikes... times infinity... Yikes!
I repented and bowed my head low... So very low... Lower than low... Beyond low...
I love God, but still cling to the safety of worldliness. My heart desires Him but it desires me too...
Can such a conflict exist?
That night I prayed that the Lord would speak to me in a dream...
Personally, I was hoping for a sea of lilies and a lion named Aslan to come and tell me I am His Beloved.
Instead, for the last two nights, I've gotten chaotic dreams where the inner-most depths and sin of my heart are exposed. Yep, in its fullness. At first, I wasn't sure of the significance of the dream... But after last night, the common thread seems to be my darkness...
So, what do I do now?
I break the ties with such worldliness and evil. And I repent.
I set my gaze and my heart on the Holy One of Israel who is Perfect, Holy, Mighty and Faithful.
And, I set my feet to diligently walk in the fruit of repentance.
I purposely change my mind with the Word of God about my darkness, that my heart may be prepared in the coming storm.
Take a moment to self-examine. Can you truly say you are ready?